SPD 4- “A Place in This World”
“How do I look?” I asked.
Clarissa laughed, “You look fine.”
“I’m serious Riss. My parents will be here any minute.”
“I’m serious too. You look fine.”
“I’m just nervous. I know my mom is still upset about the whole Pink Ranger thing.”
“Which is so completely silly.”
“Yeah, you know that and I know that…even Dad knows that…Mom doesn’t think so though.”
“Ugh, whatever. Don’t let her get you down. You’re a Pink Ranger, just like you always wanted.”
“Yeah, I know…and I’m totally thrilled about that and even more thrilled Bridget is SPD Purple. I hate making my mom mad though.”
“Cadet Samantha McKnight please report to the front. Cadet Samantha McKnight please report to the front.” A voice on the intercom said.
“She’s here.” I sighed.
“Come on, don’t want to keep Aunt Harley waiting.” Clarissa said as she walked out with me.
My name is Samantha McKnight but my friend call me Sam or Sammi. I’m 16 and I’m also SPD Pink…much to the chagrin of my mother. I’m part of the Saturn Royal Family and as such I’m supposed to be SPD Purple. Only someone in my bloodline can be a Purple Ranger. Lucky for me my cousin Bridget is a Saturn Royal too so she can be Purple Ranger. I guess my cousin Sage could have but I don’t think he really wanted to be the Purple Ranger anyway. Bridget and Sage are the children of my Aunt Savannah. Clarissa is also my cousin. She’s the daughter of my Aunt Arissa. Clarissa is part of B-Squad right now but I think it’s only because she’s not of the Saturn bloodline and can’t be a Purple Ranger because she’s certainly skilled enough to be A-Squad. Clarissa is my roommate and best friend as well.
Anyway, Clarissa and I went to the front of the Academy. Mom and Dad were standing there talking to Kara. Kara is one of our trainers and also my cousin.
“Daddy!” I cried as I ran to my Dad and hugged him.
“Sammi, it’s so good to see you.” He said as he hugged me tight. I was a complete and total Daddy’s girl and I loved that.
“Hi Sam.” Mom said.
“Hey Mom.” I replied as I hugged her. I loved my Mom, don’t get me wrong…I was just tired of her guiding my life.
“Nice uniform.” Mom scoffed as she noticed the pink on my SPD uniform.
“Harley don’t.” Dad said.
“No, go ahead Mom. You’re gonna say it anyway, you’re mad I’m SPD Pink.” I said.
“No, I’m not mad, but I’m beyond disappointed. Samantha, you’re my only daughter and as such you’re in line to be future queen of Saturn. It is your birthright and your duty to hold the Power of Purple. How can you turn your back on your people like that?”
“I’d never turn my back on our people…I didn’t leave the Power of Purple without a holder. Bridget is a perfectly capable Purple Ranger.” I replied.
“I am. I’m getting the hang of it.” Bridget said as she walked up with the rest of the team.
“I know…and this is nothing against you Bridget, but Sam is the rightful Purple Ranger.” Mom said.
“This is what I wanted though. I want to be Pink Ranger.” I said.
“This is completely wrong. If you won’t even hold the power you’re meant to hold how can anyone on Saturn trust you to defend them? If you don’t assume SPD Purple then maybe you need to consider abdicating your royal title as well.”
“You want me to abdicate being a princess?”
“You don’t want your birthright so why not step down altogether?”
“Harley, you don’t mean that. The people of Saturn love Sammi.” Dad said.
“She doesn’t love them though and she’s an embarrassment to the throne!” Mom cried.
I felt myself about to cry, “If that’s the way you feel, fine…maybe I’ll just abdicate being your daughter too because clearly I’m not the daughter you wanted!” I turned and ran away. I ran to my room. I grabbed my guitar then went outside to the back of the Academy and sat against the wall.
OK, so my mom wasn’t speaking to me. I wasn’t exactly surprised. As much as she loved Aunt Savannah, she also had an intense rivalry with her. Mom always wanted a certain life for me. That’s what brought me to SPD. I didn’t want to come here. I didn’t want to be a cadet. I wanted to be a normal high school girl. I wanted to go to Reefside High with Bridget, Connie, and Andie. Instead Mom sent me to SPD, certain that when the time came I would be SPD Purple and she’d have one up on Aunt Savannah. That’s why when Commander Tate brought in Bridget to take the power and made me SPD Pink she was so furious. I wasn’t. Mom wanted me to fight for my ‘birthright’ but I didn’t want it. I knew why Commander Tate made his decision too. After Bridget was brought in it all made sense.
About a week before Bridget was asked to join SPD Commander Tate asked me into his office.
“Yes Commander?” I asked.
“Shut the door Cadet McKnight.”
“Yes sir.” I said as I did what I was told.
“Have a seat.”
“What’s going on?”
“I’ve observed you in the last year. You show a lot of promise and you’ve moved up the ranks quickly. You’re an amazing fighter.”
“Thank you sir.”
“You also have a way of holding your squad together that I find extremely impressive.”
“Thank you.”
“However I have also watched your interaction with your family and your solo activities. You resent your Satuarian legacy, don’t you?”
I sighed, “Yes sir, to an extent I do.”
“Why is that?”
“It’s so much pressure to be a certain person. Mom is grooming me to be the next Purple Ranger. I don’t want that. I don’t want my life to be pre-destined. I want to make my own destiny.”
“You don’t want to be a Purple Ranger or you don’t want to be a Power Ranger?”
“Oh, I’d love to be a Power Ranger, not Purple…Pink. It would be a dream to be the Pink Ranger.”
“You realize as the daughter of the future queen, you’re heir to the throne of Saturn anyway, right?”
I sighed, “Yes sir…doesn’t mean my life has to reflect that. Not that I don’t want to help the people of Saturn…I just wanna be me.”
Commander Tate nodded, “Understood.”
“Is there a reason for all the questions?”
“Yes Cadet…and in time you’ll understand.”
“Um…ok.”
And he was right. I did understand now. Commander Tate didn’t want to push me to be what I didn’t want to be. That’s why he allowed me to be SPD Pink…he knew that was as close to being me as I could get within SPD…because honestly, while I was good at it, everyone knew I didn’t belong at SPD.
I was jarred from my thoughts by Clarissa walking up.
“You ok?” she asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.
“Um, because your mom is pissed at you and went off on you in front of the whole squad?”
“Oh, that? Whatever. Mom doesn’t like who I am, big deal.”
“Except it is a big deal to you. I know you Sammi, as much as you don’t want to fit a mold you do wish your mother accepted who you are.”
“Doesn’t matter. She hates that I don’t want my legacy, she hates that I sing country like grandma instead of rock, she hates that I’m so sweet…she hates me.”
“Oh come on. Aunt Harley is bitchy, she doesn’t hate you.”
“Then why wouldn’t she let Grandma help me promote my music? Clarissa, I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to go to high school and I wanted to sing. Instead Mom shipped me to SPD. You really think she cares about me? All I am is a way to out do Aunt Savannah.”
“Grandma was going to help you?”
“Yes!”
“And Aunt Harley said no?”
“Yes!”
“Damn, I’d be pissed too.”
I rolled my eyes, “You don’t get it, singing is everything to me.”
“I’m agreeing with you!”
“You are? Really?”
“Yes. Sammi, I know how important your music is to you. I just can’t believe your mom would put this silly feud above your dreams.”
“Yeah, welcome to my world.”
“If I were you I wouldn’t stand for it.”
“And what would you have me do Clarissa? Run away?”
“Yup.”
“WHAT?!”
“Exactly. Run away. Catch a bus to Reefside and go live with Grandma and Grandpa.”
I laughed, “You do realize not many people run to Starlight, right?”
“OK, so we’re weird…look at our parents.”
“Point taken.”
“Sammi, if this isn’t what you want you shouldn’t be stuck here. You should live your dream. Life is too short.”
“You make a point…I’ll think about it. Thanks.”
“Anytime. I love you Cuz.”
“I love you too.”
I thought about what she said, it was a lot to think about. Mirloc wasn’t going anywhere and SPD needed my help…but my dream was to sing.
I went to my room and got my guitar out. I started to play it and sing a song I’d written.
“Our song is a slammin’ screen door/Sneakin’ out late/Tapping on your window/When we’re on the phone and you talk real slow/Cause it’s late and your mama don’t know/Our song is way you laugh/The first date when I didn’t kiss him when I should have/And when I got home/’Fore I said Amen/Asking God if he could play it again”
“Nice.”
I looked up and saw
“Oh…I didn’t realize I had an audience.” I said.
He smiled, “Seriously, you have a great voice.”
“Thanks.”
“You kinda sprinted off.”
“Yeah, I was sick of being yelled at.”
“Yeah, I can see that. You ok?”
“Yeah. Clarissa thinks I should run away and go live my dream.”
“Which is?”
“Singing.”
“Listen, I know what it’s like to have a legacy to live up to. It’s hard.”
“You want your legacy
“True…but still…anyway, you need to do what you think is right…but I also don’t think running away will solve anything. It certainly won’t win you credibility with your mom. Trust me. I tried that with my dad.”
“Which was retarded. Did you think your dad would overlook that?”
“I thought it would get his attention. It did…just not the right way. Not a good idea.”
“Yeah…that’s true…”
“But if you think it is best for you then do it.”
“I don’t know. I just feel trapped.”
“You’re not. If nothing else you know you’re not alone. You have friends here.”
“Thanks
“Anytime.”
“One-way ticket/On a west bound train/See how far I can go/ I'm gonna go out/Dancing in the pouring rain/And talk to someone I don't know/I will face the world around me/Knowing that/I'm strong enough/To let you go/And I will fall in love again/Because I can”.
“Dude, you sound like Grandma, like a lot.”
I looked up, “Sage, hey.”
“You ok?”
“Debating.”
“About how to handle your mom?”
“Yup.”
“What are you thinking of doing?”
“Running away…living with Grandma.”
“Whoa! Sammi, that would not work. Aunt Harley will kill you. Not to mention Commander Tate if you went AWOL.”
“Eh, I hadn’t considered that.”
“Running away is not the answer here Sam. If you want my advice I think you should go talk to your mom and try to talk things out like an adult.”
“Like that will work.”
“It’s better than running away.”
I sighed, “Maybe.”
“It’ll be ok.” Sage said as my father walked up, “Um, I’ll see you later Sammi.”
Dad sat next to me, “Are you ok sweetheart?”
“I guess. You know, if you don’t count Mom hating me.”
“Your mother doesn’t hate you. We both love you very much.”
“Then why is she pushing me to be SPD Purple and why does she insist I give up on my dreams to be here?” I asked.
“You really never wanted SPD did you?”
“No. I don’t. I mean it’s not like I can leave now. Mirloc is dangerous and my friends need my help…but no…this isn’t what I wanted for myself.”
“I’m so sorry honey. I should have fought your mother when she suggested you come here.”
“It’s not your fault Daddy.”
“Are you unhappy here?”
“No…but I’d be happier if I could pursue music.”
“You realize the kind of life a musician has? You’ve heard the stories of what it did to your Grandma Michelle. Grandma Kira went through it too. It’s not an easy life baby girl.”
“I know, but it’s a life I want for myself.”
“Absolutely not.” Mom said as she walked up.
“Ok Harley, that’s enough. I’m putting my foot down. You have Sammi thinking you hate her because she’s not what you want her to be. You’ve been overbearing and controlling of her life…something I never, ever expected from you of all people. I remember a time you were terrified of living in your mother’s shadow and you’re forcing your daughter to live in yours. Do you want to lose your daughter because that is exactly what will happen.” Dad said.
Mom paused for a second, “Oh god, you’re right. I’m so sorry Sam. I never asked what you wanted. I just assumed you should want what I wanted.”
“I told you what I wanted, you just never listened.” I said.
“I’m really sorry Sam. I really do love you very much. Can you ever forgive me?”
I nodded, “You’re my mom. Of course I can. I love you too.”
“So what do you want?”
“Well now I want to defeat Mirloc. After that I’d really like to leave SPD and move back to Reefside. I also would like to work with grandma on my music career.”
Mom nodded, “Absolutely. Once Mirloc is taken care of we’ll enroll you at Reefside High and you can spend more time on your music.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I smiled, “Thanks Mom.”
“You’re welcome. I love you so much sweetheart.”
“I love you too. You know Bridget is actually a pretty good Purple Ranger.”
“I figured she would be…her mother was too.”
“You do love Aunt Savannah, right?”
Mom nodded, “Of course. Very much. I guess I’m still insecure about my own birthright sometimes.”
“Because you we’re first born but you still are future queen?”
“Yeah.”
“But you are the rightful future queen and no one can take that from you.”
“You’re smart for a kid.”
I laughed, “Mom, I’m not a kid anymore.”
“You’re right. You’re not.”
I spent the day with my parents and we actually had a really good time. After dinner they dropped me off at the Academy. I went to my room. Clarissa was in there playing a video game.
“Have fun?” she asked.
I nodded, “I did actually. It was a blast.”
“Good. So everything worked out.”
“Yeah, I think it did.” I said as I picked up my guitar.
“New song idea?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s hear it.”
I started to play and as I did I sang what I was feeling. I had it in my head and I was excited to sing it.
“I don’t know what I want
So don’t ask me
Cause I’m still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road
I’m just walking.
Trying to see through the rain coming down.
Even though I’m not the only one
That feels the way I do
I’m alone, on my own, and that's all I know.
I'll be strong, I’ll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, I’m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world”