PRT 403- “The Circle”
Jon and I ended up having make up sex in my office. Afterwards he went out the back. I waited a few minutes then went out the front. I needed to stop at the store on my way home and in true stalker fashion the paparazzi were on my trail.
“Jon talks about your relationship in his documentary. He mentions your connection and how it is never ending. You both claim to be only friends. What is the truth?” one reporter yelled over the crowd.
“Are you and Jon dating again?”
“Do you still love Jon as much as he seems to love you?”
“Are any of his new songs about you?”
“Will any of your new songs be about him?”
“How do Rich and Dot feel about your relationship with Jon?”
It was all too much. I sighed and ran in the store. I got what I needed and ran back to my car. I drove home and locked myself in my apartment. I turned the TV on and this is what I saw:
“The following is an
excerpt of one of he interviews Jon recorded for his documentary, available
now:
Interviewer: My next
question isn’t really a question, but a word. I’ll give you the word and you
just go with it.
Jon: OK. Go.
Interviewer: Michelle.
Jon: (Pauses and
closes his eyes for a second before speaking) What can
I say about Michelle? Honestly. I wouldn’t be where I am without her…hell, I wouldn’t be WHO I am without her. I met Michelle
Pauline Morris when she was just a kid. I believe she was 11 or 12. She had
come to one of our shows when we were just an opening act but I was the one she
wanted to go backstage to meet. She and her brother came backstage and the
second I saw her I felt a connection I just can’t explain. What Michelle and I
have shared through the years is something no one else on this Earth can
comprehend. We’ve loved and fought and hated and moved on and come back and…if
there is an emotion that exists at some point we’ve felt it for each other.
Interviewer: She’s 13
years younger than you are. You, technically, should have gone to jail for
being with her, prior to her 18 th
birthday.
Jon: (Laughs) Yeah, I
should have. So should about 80% of the guys that hung out on Sunset back in
the day. None of us saw Michelle as a kid. She never acted like one. I’m always
asked what a 26 year old saw in a 13 year old…I guess I can’t really answer
that because age didn’t matter to us. It just didn’t. Maybe it should have.
Things would have been very different, but it came down to love, attraction, and
connection. We were drawn to each other and nothing, especially not a number,
could keep us apart.
Interviewer: What
ended it?
Jon: It will never be
truly over. It just won’t. What Michelle and I have is the ultimate ‘till death
do us part’ because that is the only way it will be over. I know it, Michelle
knows it…it’s just the way it is.
Interviewer: You sound
almost obsessed.
Jon: At times I guess
I have been. At the end of the day it always comes back to our love. Michelle
is 29 now and she is just as amazing to me as the day we met.
Interviewer: As the
father of a teenage girl, do you look back and understand why some people saw
it as wrong?
Jon: Yeah, absolutely
I do. If Stephanie Rose had wanted to date a 26 year old when she was 13 I would
have killed him. I get how it looked on the outside. Certainly.
I get why Michelle’s family was so upset. I do understand. The lack of
understanding comes from the outside. Very few people try to understand what we
were feeling and why we felt and did what we did.
Interviewer: Michelle
inspired a lot of your hits didn’t she?
Jon: That’s an
understatement. The spirit of Michelle is somewhere in almost everything I
write. I’ve written songs about her, for her, inspired by her. I guess you
could say she’s my muse.
Interviewer: But your
marriage failed.
Jon: Yes, it did.
There were a lot of reasons for that. It’s so easy for me to blame Hunter
Bradley for it. In the end he really is what set the divorce in motion. But
that really isn’t the whole story. I wasn’t a good husband to Michelle. I
didn’t treat her right all the time. She was also too young to really be
married. She was only 20 when we married and she wasn’t ready.
Interviewer: After the
divorce you re-married your first wife. How does she handle this draw you have
to Michelle?
Jon: She doesn’t like
it and it’s unspoken. But she also knew what she was getting when she
re-married me…she knew what she was getting when she married me the first time.
We don’t talk about Michelle and she tries really hard to stay away from any
media Michelle is involved in. As far as she’s concerned I don’t think Michelle
exists.
Interviewer: If you
had to sum up your relationship with Michelle, how would you do it?
Jon: It can’t be
summed up. It’s too complex for that. I love her in a way that can’t be
described. It’s unconditional and ever-lasting. I know she loves me too. Our
love is volatile and at times it’s been known to bring out the very worst in
both of us…but it can also bring out the very best. There’s
times we hate each other just as much as we love each other. In the end we
always find our way back together. Michelle is a very deep,
caring, complex, and misunderstood woman. I don’t think people are fair
to her and I think people want to see her fail. This is a fact she is aware of
but she doesn’t let it get to her. She’s determined and a fighter and, within
the music business, quite literally my female counterpart. She is just as hard
working and driven as I am. Out of the studio she is just as passionate about
life. That passion is what makes Michelle and I work and it’s what tears us
apart. There is no easy way to define what we have and it can’t be summed up
into a neat nutshell. What Michelle and I have is beyond that. Beyond words. Beyond comprehension.
We’re the only two people that really understand it…and even we don’t always
understand it. It just…is.
These comments have
re-sparked speculation that Jon and Michelle are having an affair that they’ve
been covering up. Reps for Jon deny this and say these comments are being
misinterpreted as more than they are. Reps for Michelle have yet to comment.”
I turned the TV off. I was about to cry. I reached into my purse for a tissue and felt something else. I pulled it out. It was a copy of Jon’s CD and DVD documentary. I put the DVD in the DVD player and watched it. It was a great film. I laughed, cried, and felt things I hadn’t felt in a long time. Jon was so passionate about life…his music, his business, his family, friends, band, and of course he was passionate about me. He loved me and I knew it. I was doing the right thing going on this tour. I really was. After the DVD I put the CD in and listened. It was classic Jonny…it rocked so hard. I completely loved it…and it was clear that, while there weren’t a ton of songs about me, I had inspired several of them in some way. At least he was being discreet. He was ever bit the talented singer/song writer he had always been…and his music could still touch my soul.
The next day I decided to agree to an interview. I was going to discuss Serena and Raye’s music, but also clear the air and answer questions. I hoped it would get people to back off. Holly set it up and I showed up.
“Thanks for being here. I know it’s been a crazy time for you.” The interviewer said.
“Thank you for having me. I’m glad to get everything in the open. There’s so much to talk about and I know you have questions.” I said.
“Where do you want to start?”
I laughed, “Promotion. First of all I want to announce that Serena Shields’s album, ‘A Woman Needs’, is slated for a release date of February 16, 2010. In the coming weeks you will see the release of her second single from that album, the title track. Raye Hino has yet to set a release date for her new album, but that will be coming early next year. I also hope to release a new album of my own by spring 2010 and a new single some time before that.”
“You music has lately been overshadowed by the media.”
I nodded, “I realize my name has come up in Jon Giovanni’s new book and film. I want to assure everyone that his comments were sorely misinterpreted. We are not having a current relationship. We are just friends and that is where it ends. I will take a few questions.”
“Jon made the comment, and I quote, ‘It will never be truly over. It just won’t. What Michelle and I have is the ultimate ‘till death do us part’ because that is the only way it will be over.’ How was that misinterpreted? It sounds like you two are together.”
“It was completely misinterpreted. Jon and I, as he said himself, have a long and complicated history. What we shared can’t be duplicated or forgotten. It’s ours. Love like ours also doesn’t just die…but it changes. What Jon meant by that comment, and I feel I can fully speak for him on this, was that we will always be a part of each other’s lives. We’ve tried to walk away and not be friends but it doesn’t work. What we have between us is different but we need each other in our lives. Right now what that means is friendship.” I explained.
“Jon also stated, ‘At the end of the day it always comes back to our love. Michelle is 29 now and she is just as amazing to me as the day we met.’ What did he mean there in your opinion?”
“It does always come back to our love. It’s why we need to be in one another’s lives. I still find him as amazing as the day we met as well…have you ever heard the song ‘Sometimes Love Ain’t Enough’? Well that about sums it up for us. We do have a lot of mutual love between us but it wasn’t enough to make it work. Jonny and I will never be a couple again. We just won’t. That doesn’t take away the emotion.”
“How does his wife feel about this?”
“I’ve actually spoke with Dot because of my relationship with Rich and she and I have come to an understanding. She still doesn’t like me I don’t think…and I can’t blame her for that…but I think she understands that Jon and I are just friends and that’s how it is going to stay.”
“Speaking of your relationship with Rich, what is going on there?”
“Fun. That’s it really. I love being with Rich because he is fun. He doesn’t want the commitment out of me that some other guys I dated want. I don’t want commitment from him. We’ve both been married and we’ve both had it end badly. Neither of us are looking for that right now so we’re dating, having fun, and just…hanging out.”
“How does Jon feel about it?”
“He was less than thrilled at first, but he warmed up to the idea and is ok with it now.”
She nodded, “Jon expresses that he understands why your family and so many others opposed your relationship when you first got together. I’m sure as a teenager you didn’t, but have you come to understand it now?”
“Oh absolutely. You’re right, I didn’t get it then…at all. I was 12 and in way over
my head in
“Would you change it if you could?”
“Not for a minute…we were in love and it was good, it was bad, but it was something I would never want to change. What Jon and I had then was magic…pure magic.”
“Both you and Jon have mentioned he didn’t always treat you well and you have talked candidly before about the abuse. Why did you continue to go back and how can you maintain a friendship now?”
I nodded, “It was bad…really bad for awhile. And yes, there were moments I thought that perhaps he actually would kill me. If I were talking to any other woman in my place I would certainly tell her to run away and never look back. And I know it sounds cliché and I don’t expect anyone to buy this, but it’s true…Jon and I are different. Jon and I both have this passion…this…there really isn’t a word for it…but when you get us together it is either really, really amazing or really, really volatile. It really can go either way. And on top of that we both have, what Jon likes to call, LSD…lead singer’s disease…basically it’s all about me, me, me, me. We both want to be the focus…the star…and when you get two passionate people with LSD together it’s gonna be fireworks. No way around it. That is also part of the reason Jon and I will never be a couple again.”
“In past interviews you mention Hunter Bradley in a similar way…that passion you both have that is…”
“Yes. Hunter is passionate as I am in a different way. I think the primary difference is he lacks the LSD. He doesn’t care about the spotlight or being the focus of anything. Hunter is just purely passionate and he came along at a time I needed that. I needed someone to show me that there was more to life than me.”
“Rumors have circulated for awhile now that you’re responsible for Hunter’s break up with racecar driver Ronny Robinson. Is there any truth to that?”
I shook my head, “No. Well…ok, that’s a hard one to answer truthfully. Did I go after Hunter and try to break them up? No, I didn’t. I don’t want Hunter in that way anymore. Did lingering feelings Hunter had for me play a part in their break up? I’m not 100% sure, but I suspect that might be the case. I didn’t play an active role though, no.”
“Recently Hunter has been seen with another pop/country singer and someone you were once linked to as a friend, Jessica Simpson. Do you have any feelings about that?”
“What? Seriously? Ok, I’m out of the loop because that’s actually news to me.” I said as I took a breath. I really was caught totally off guard by that one. I needed to recover. “OK, well, I don’t have much say in who Hunter dates. I mean if they are happy then that’s great.”
“I’d like to touch on something else that you haven’t spoken much about. Last year you married RJ James and earlier this year it was annulled. What led to that and what feelings to have about that now?”
“I really don’t like discussing RJ, but I’ll discuss it this once. I did marry RJ in a drunken Vegas wedding and it wasn’t exactly a fairy tale, but I did love RJ so much. More than I ever dreamed possible. I hadn’t loved anyone that way since Hunter and…it was intense. RJ and I agreed to try to make our marriage work but in the end it just didn’t. There were several factors involved I think and we went through a lot in our short marriage…most of which I think should stay between he and I. In the end RJ just didn’t love me enough to try anymore and he asked for an annulment. I was completely and totally heartbroken. There is no two ways about it, he broke my heart.”
“Will we see that reflected on your upcoming album?”
“Yes, there will be more than 1 song about RJ on this album.”
“We spoke before about Jon and Hunter’s passions and how they were different. RJ seemed even more different from either of them.”
“Oh lord yes. He was so different. He was passionate but not in my normal definition of passion. He was passionate in that he had conviction and he was true to himself in a way I’ve never seen. He was so calm and zen and really was the only one I’ve ever known that can calm me down and make me relax when I get too high strung.”
“You see like you are pretty high strung.”
“I am. And I can be a drama queen sometimes and life is just go, go, go, go. Sometimes I need someone to just grab me and force me to stand still and breathe. Take it in and let it out. RJ brought a calmness to my life I’ve never known.”
“Have you gotten past that heartbreak?”
“Writing really helped a lot. It was extremely cathartic and allowed me to say what I needed to say. It still hurts a lot, but it’s better. Dating helps. It’s nice to get out and have fun. I am in no way ready to think about having an actual boyfriend or committing to someone else, but it gets better everyday.”
“Speaking of getting out, you’ve been seen a lot on the Sunset Strip. Some speculate you’re reverting back to your old party girl ways. Is this the case?”
“Depends who you ask I guess. I’ve heard that too…from my own family no less. I don’t think I am. For starters I’m legal now. For another, I think I’m mature enough to keep the partying in check. At the end of the day no matter how much I show up on Sunset, if I’m there at all, someone will start in about my past. It’s just the way it is. I try not to let it get to me. I’m a single, grown woman and I’m allowed to go out and have fun.”
“On the topic of your family, you and your brother Zack have been heavily involved in various reunion projects involving your old TV show.”
“Yes, it’s been a lot of fun.”
“I heard a rumor about a mall tour early next year. Any truth to that?”
“Possibly. I know our various managers are trying to work out a small mall tour for January of next year. I’m really not sure how that’s going. I know I’d love to do it, even if it meant singing those lame pop songs I disowned.”
“You don’t sing any of those in your concerts anymore do you?”
“No. The only time I ever even hear them is on the radio. I don’t even know all the words to two of them anymore. If this tour happens I’ll have to relearn them.” I said with a laugh.
“I do want to touch on a sensitive subject…Mindy Kyle…she was your sister.”
“Yes.”
“She was killed in an explosion at Mia Blackwood’s apartment. Were you and Mindy close and how did her death affect you?”
I though very carefully before answering the question, “I had only met Mindy once but she was still my sister. It completely affected me and I was devastated. Especially because of the manner in which she died…it was horrible and the fact her killer remains at large is a point of contention with me.”
“Do you blame Mia for her death?”
“I do. I think she knows more than she claims. I think she holds at least some responsibility for it and I will never forgive her for that.”
“Do you plan to pursue criminal charges?”
“It’s not up to me. Mindy has a mother and a boyfriend. That is her family and it’s completely their choice how to handle this matter.”
“Recently your business partner, Mina Gordon, and you broke ranks. What caused that?”
“We were in different places and needed time apart. Because we didn’t take time when we needed it, it escalated into more than it ever should have been. We’ve actually worked it out and I just sold her back her share of Starlight Records and we’re re-recording parts of my album to include her guitar parts. Mina and I have completely reconciled. It’s like any relationship. Sometimes you have to take a step back so that it doesn’t fall apart.”
“Jon’s new album is called ‘The Circle’ and has said one interpretation of that title is that the band has come full circle. You’re almost 30, as you said before. With the reunion, and the rumors, and the partying…do you feel like your life has come full circle?”
I paused for a second to give this some real thought, “You know, I guess in some ways it has. They say that the planet Saturn rotates around the sun once about every 30 Earth years. That means when you’re 30 Saturn is about in the same place it was when you were born for the first time in your life. Full circle. And yes, I guess in a lot of ways, as I get close to 30, my life has come full circle. I think there’s a lot more to live, but full circle can also be seen as a new beginning. If I am where I was then where do I want to go now?”
“I think that’s a really good place to leave this. Thank you for joining us.”
I nodded, “Thank you for having me.”